you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
