If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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