You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
