i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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