I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
