I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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