just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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