i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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