So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
