I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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