I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
