I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize