Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
