She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
