I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
