Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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