Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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