Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
