tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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