Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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