if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize