I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
