I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
