Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
