Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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