my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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