I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
