CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
