She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
