When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Damn victory sex feels great
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize