He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
