I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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