Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
