apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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