Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
