you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
