This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
