i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
