Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
