Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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