Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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