used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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