"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
