You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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