I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
