Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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