that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
