allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize