there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize