Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize