Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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