...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.