I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.