Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.