What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.