Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015