Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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