What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
