do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize